Tanzerin

The Hanuman temple at the end of the street where my parents live has been our go-to temple ever since I can remember. Whether it is a prayer for someone ill or a ThankYou for a milestone reached, sometimes 'just-like-that' and sometimes for a heart-to-heart, this Hanuman has been a constant in the lives of those who live nearby. A month ago, the temple was decked up for Hanuman Jayanti and my dad couldn't stop raving about how majestic our beloved Hanuman looked, how exquisitely the ceiling had been painted with tulasi and flowers and what a beautifully festive look the entire street had taken on. There was a constant stream of visitors for Him that day- each one being fed with a sumptuous lunch. Would this be any Hanuman Jayanti anywhere in the world? Probably! So why go on harping about this one? Because the choicest flowers were hand picked and strung together by a Muslim. The lunch was joyfully prepared by boys whose caste and religion no one knows. The entire cost fo...

As you drive past Krishnagiri and onto Salem, you turn a rocky curve and suddenly you are hit by an unlikely sight- a mountain of green surrounded by fields of green and then some more green. You can count at least 5 shades of green- of shrubs, grass, trees and more of the same. As you whizz past this wall of green, you notice a lone white cottage. The next 4 days we reveled in much more! They say all the beautiful moments of a journey happen between the planned bits. We were lucky, cos we didn't make many plans, except to get some good food every meal. A 7 hour drive to Madurai from Bangalore on a Sunday morning landed us at Dindigul for lunch. Shrii Saravana Bhavan is most obviously a joint trying to sell on the name made famous by the HSB people from Chennai. The only reason we entered here was because the heat outside was crazy and they had an AC dining area. And then the 'meals' arrived. Sambhar, Kozhambu and Rasam like I have never tasted before. If you are ever ca...

Growing up in Bangalore, we would often joke that the only thing missing in Bangalore was the beach! But we would quickly dismiss our fancies thinking that the sea shore would ruin our enviable weather: those were the days when we didn't know that all you needed was the land mafia and lots of concrete to destroy the weather (amongst several other Bangalore niceties).  In any case, I married a die-hard Chennai-ite this day 7 years ago and found myself in a life-long tutorial on 'going to the beach'. Over the years I have been treated to molaga bajji and appalam, the stomach churning merry-go-round, the scarily PINK candy, the kadalai fellow who always has a prominent role in every beach scene in every tamil movie and serial, the helicopter toy that will stop working the minute you have brought it home, the blinking devil horns that are quite eerie, the 'vetti' catch ups that happen at the beach..... the latest addition being the spring potato! The one thing that ...

Come Independance Day and we love to come together and sing Vande Mataram and Jana Gana Mana. "We are ONE irrespective of caste,creed or religion or region etc etc etc." But I sense that this is a time when we want to come together by getting rid of our identity as being a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian. Religion does not define me. We want to rid ourselves of our identity as a Tamilian or Kannadiga or Bengali or Kashmiri. It isn't region or language that defines my patriotism (Subramanya Bharathi: You should have written patriotic poetry in a language everyone understands!) We definitely want to rid oursleves of our identity as a Dalit or Brahmin or Kshatriya or Baniya. Caste is a complete No-No. It does not matter that I am an engineer or doctor or lawyer or artiste or sculptor. All professions recognise that August 15th is a holiday. I may be a mother or father or grandmother or aunt or cousin. It is "I" that matters. Not my identity in my f...

 I just found out that yesterday was Doctors' day... I've grown up with a few doctors in the family, a few friends are now super duper doctors, and since I've also been ill every now and then, I've been treated by unrelated unknown doctors. So here is my 5 pointer check list for lay people like you and me: 1. The next time you whine about how long you have to wait outside the doctor's office, kindly- yes PLEASE please also make sure you whine while you wait in a long queue outside the box office. After all, both are a matter of life, health, happiness and death NO?! 2. The next time the doctor prescribes antibiotics "unnecessarily", please don't take them. When you go back after 3 days with a condition that's worse off, I love watching the doctor bang his/her head on the wall once you've left. 3. If the doctor said that bump on your head is boil, it most likely is- Oh wait it can't be that simple. Dr. Google says it's a malignan...

A few days ago, my daughter walked off to a birthday party saying "I will go my alone." MY ALONE was her new English phrase for the week meaning 'all by myself'. Not just 'myself', "ALL BY MYSELF"! And as I watched her walk down the hallway to the neighbour's house, I felt a funny feeling in the pit of my tummy. Of all the funny-feelings-in-tummy motherhood brings you, this one was new. WAS MY BABY GROWING UP? You see, mothers are usually programmed to be blind to any of these so-called hints of growing up. So obviously it surprised me that I was thinking this at all! Growing up in Mommy language usually refers to other things like: 1. Baby Being toilet trained after months of cleaning up and mopping up and coercing and making sssss sounds while the bored baby sits on the Potty. 2. Baby Being able to chew food -accompanied by a lot of "CHEW CHEW CHEW" and nudging the food stuck in the cheek. 3. Baby Giving up the feeding bott...

Has it become so difficult to be happy? or even just optimistic? In the days following the O-so-talked-about "India's Daughter", we have been engulfed by a sense of rage- at the government, at the system, at patriarchy, at men, at some women and unfortunately at anyone who talks well of anything! I was chided yesterday for being cheerful. I am chided today for being optimistic. Mind you - I was taken in by the same rage - at the audacity of the defense lawyers, at their attitude that seemed to be not unique to criminals but rampant in our society. I shared the link to the leaked video on my facebook page, urging my friends to share it and take responsibility for being a part of the system that bred such criminals, a society that continued to breed the horribly chauvinistic attitude that women were dispensable. It made me angry and I made that very clear. And then I heard another side of the story as well- some said the real purpose of the documentary was to "put ...

Remember when we were in school and the morning of an exam we fantasised that some extra terrestrial monster would descend and exams would be cancelled? Nothing of the sort happened. We wrote our exam, went home and studied for the next and again wished for ET the next morning. And at the end of a bad exam we wondered why our wishes were never granted- boring lives we had no?! We went to school, played in the grounds, came home to eat our snack, did homework, watched "little wonder" on TV, fussed over the boring dinner and went to sleep. On days that my parents had to be out late or were travelling, they'd inform a neighbour to keep an eye on the house. We ate out of a stocked fridge, watched TV and walked the dog before going to bed. Such boring lives no?! The neighbour's car got robbed of the stereo at 2 in the night- my dog went to chase the robbers, but they had taken off. Now THAT made for a good showoff session at school the next morning, "You won'...

I grew up in a safe Bangalore. At least I didn't have to be taught at 3 what "Good touch" and "Bad touch" was. But I'm not sure I can say that about my daughter's life. With the next door school brushing aside rape allegations, I am agitated and enraged and like several other parents have embarked on a education spree. Several tips have cropped up over the past few days on how to teach your child to be safe. But at two and a half, I may be prematurely killing her innocence, not to mention how confusing I may seem to her. "Why are you screaming? If you scream that Bhoot is going to jump into your room." and I follow it up later in the day with "If someone touches you, scream with all your might and run to your teacher." "You must respect the aunties in school. Say thank you - they help you in the class, take you to the swing..." "If aunty takes you out of the class, shout out to Ma'am that she's taking you....

In recent times I have realised that several people feel obliged to apologise; apologise for being Hindu, apologise for a ‘Hindu’ party winning the elections, updating status messages on facebook or tweeting that while they may be called Hindu, they should not be mistaken to be fundamentalists. ‘I am not a religious Hindu. I am secular!’ I was raised in a Tamil Brahmin household. I remember spending my afternoons hearing tales from the Siva Puranam, the Ramayana and the Mahabharatha from my grandmother. I remember learning to draw a 18-pulli Kolam , making strings of mango leaves for festivals, learning Carnatic music and bharathanatyam, making a compulsory visit to the puja room after a bath every morning. As a young child, the stories of Parvati or Rama were fascinating, festivals were a lot of fun, rituals were intriguing and practices were just that- a way of living. In my growing up years I asked a lot of questions- why do we do this? How will it matter if I don’t do thi...

It's School Time. It started with... "Hah! My granddaughter is so smart- she should go straight to Kindergarten- why are you putting her in Playgroup and Nursery and God-knows-what-else!" Ya Sure Mom, May be I'll just ask the school if she can directly go to say Std 1? And then came activist friends "What are your views about home schooling- Children will remain un-corrupted by the System." Sure- Home schooling is fine with me- If it's YOUR home she can school in. And then that  Aunty "So are you going to send her on the school bus-It'll be convenient. But did you hear about that recent incident in XYZ Nagar about that ....God....I don't know what kind of animals become school bus drivers. Nowadays you can't trust anyone. I heard from someone else that some...." OK No school bus then! And Daddy J "My poor baby is going to school- how can she stay for 3 hours? It's not fair to such a small baby. She'll cry no...

Election fever ain't over yet 'cos all you hear on the news is allegations of corruption, communal tension, money laundering, bla bla...So much for "Hear no Evil. Speak No evil. See No Evil." in which ever order you like. Since the only TV I get to watch now is the news other than Chotta Bheem, I realised I should be showing my child more positive things. I'd rather not introduce these horrible ideas of theft, corruption etc to the young mind. Right?? Wrong. To my utter dismay, I realised I already had! Yep. You have to believe me. All parents are guilty.  OK let's take it one by one. 1. Well, Dear mothers, when was the last time you said, "Drink your milk, I'll take you to the park." OR "If you have a quick shower, I'll give you a star." OR when you are at your highest point of desperation "Please let me work for 10 minutes, I'll buy you KinderJOy." When was the last time the traffic cop asked for 200 bucks ins...

We almost didn't go. But thankfully Passport Seva Kendra asked for a little too many things to get our complicated passport issue resolved. So there we were, Chennai bound; to go on to Paradise. Kala Paani, Sirai Chaalai, History text books- I vaguely remembered the gory history of Cellular Jail. It was far worse in real. The Hanging, the pits to collect dead bodies, the sadistic punishments... If you pooped more than a tiny earthen pot could take, you'd have to make more oil than you did everyday (which was an unreasonable 15 kilos). If you wanted more than 2 glasses of water (yes- the daily quota of water), go lick the Jamaadar's shoes dry. If you thought that all this made the freedom fighters stronger in will- get an Indian to torture another Indian, feed him food in an iron bowl- the rust will kill him anyway. We live in a time when many friends, even relatives are of different nationalities- British, Japanese, etc etc. After all these years, it seems ridiculous t...

Someone once asked me if I liked travelling... And after a lot of deliberation I said.."Well, I like being at all kinds of different places but if I have to take a 36 hour train or a sweaty 8 hour bus drive, I'm not sure I'd like that bit." I'm sure the person thought he was having the most inane conversation with the most spoilt brat around! Being a dancer predisposes you to all kinds of travel- luxurious ones, budget ones, in-between-luxury and budget-ones. You also get to live like that- budget hotels, luxury hotels, 1 star to 5 star (OK very rarely 5 star unless I book myself into one!). I once lived in a 'guest house' in Raipur where there was no running water in the bathroom, food was served in sticky plates and the table was cleaned with a cloth that could send a rat running to the ENT. A week back, re-visiting the holy temples of Shiva in the Tanjore belt, I realised how things had changed, yet some things don't ever change do they! The la...

Dear all, I am a born optimist. If in 20 years I say "can't', "not possible", "No way", "what rubbish", "Nope"....etc etc please blame my parents and anyone else around me right now. They are such pessimists. I keep proving them wrong whenever they say "O it'll hurt you", "Don't do that, it's dangerous", "Stop right now, you'll fall" etc etc, but they just won't accept it! Pah... Sambar podi is fully safe. Look I've opened the box. It's on my finger now. Ooo- run and catch game- mommy behind me- run run run... see?!?! it's safe. My eyes are watering a little bit but that's because I was laughing and shaking the box for extra effect! I can fit inside the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet. If I can just get this wire out of the way.. There! it's not bothering me now- except for that loud noise - hmm...Ooo look funny box with red and green light on the floor. Ok....

" How childhood seems to have changed such a great deal..." - I despised all these oldies who would say that to me when I was a kid.  And I always wanted to say "Well, you can go climb your tree, I'd rather just play in the park. You can go play hopscotch in the mud, I'd rather play on the driveway and not get mud in my shoes." Sure childhood seems to be verrry different today but what amuses me is that the idea of being a "Bangalorean" has become such a misinterpreted, misunderstood thing in recent times. Years ago, being a Bangalorean was to - Go to Cubbon Park as a treat for being a good child over the last month. On the way out, if you behaved well on all the rides, you got a cone of ice-cream (vanilla only) as a bonus. Ice cream in cups were for days when parents ran out of patience to sit and wait till you finished the cone. - Go to Lalbagh for the flower show on Republic Day- after watching the parade on TV of course. For those of us...

Two days back I was at a conclave of dancers, and some one asked me- "So you're full-time dancing aa?" And I wasn't sure what to say to that. And my reply like it is almost all the time was "Uhm...well....you know.. I dance yes...but I have a one and half year old daughter so...and I also do some medical writing...so you know" And my audience is always bewildered. "So transcriptions aa?" [And as bad as it sounds I take offense to being associated with that line of 'writing' so] my quick retort is always "NOO...I write for research- you know journal papers [ 'regulatory documents' will be quite lost on most people who ask me these questions]... In any case, I've been thinking a bit about what qualifies as full time, part time, hardly any time, time etc etc.. So, I don't have an office to go to in the morning. No 9 to 5 job or 9 to 8 job like most 'working women'. So I'm apparently not qualified to say...

It's time to make resolutions! 1. I am going to get fitter and healthier (it's definite indication that I need to cos my little monster keeps pointing to a treadmill and cross-trainer very excitedly every time she spots one). 2. I am going to read more (although it looks like the genre is going to be uhm.... 'Little Miss Muff...' and 'Dosai amma Dosai...'). 3. I am going to speak no evil, hear no evil, write no evil (this obviously does not include any venting and cribbing that I am entitled to when I'm bugged with certain members in our society- Got IT??!) 4. I am going to dance more (it's a little difficult though since the guru is more fascinated by her grand daughter's Gangnam style than her daughter's Trikala Jathi). 5. I am going to write more often - dear colleagues at work, please do not worry- I'll fit the scientific writing in as well ;) 7. I am going to do some of that mind mapping/memory training blah blah this year ...

I've blogged and gloated about the new entry in my life for almost a year now. New entries have that effect on you I guess. But, 10 years back there was another new entry in my life: don't be scandalised- it was no baby- just a lady. Ok again, don't raise your eyebrows, I'm just referring to the time when most TamBrahms would have labeled me the "kodumakaara Naathanaar" or as you would call it in English "the Sister-in-law".Men are from Mars and women from Venus? More like she was from Mercury and me from Pluto. What could we have agreed on? Not much.... 1. She said "Hugs are beautiful." I said "Uhm... I can't hug." 2. She said "Let's party till 4 AM." I was always indoors before dinner time. 3. She said "Let's practice that step again." I wondered "WHY????" and still do! 4. "Here's your gift for Pongal." she said. And suddenly I realised how my brother had cheated me o...

Remember when some old relative pinched your cheeks at a wedding and said, "How small you were. Look how big you've gotten!" I always wanted to say, " Well. I can't remain 5 forever! And... You used to be so thin.. look how fat you've gotten." And somehow I look at my almost-a-year-old daughter and seem to want to say just that! "Remember how tiny she was. Look at her now!" Just that it ain't moist eyes that accompany that line but "O my god, please don't put that shoe in your mouth..again..grrrr" ONE year seems like a long time but time has slipped by so quickly that I can hardly believe I'm a year old in the parenting business (Daddy J: You agree, don't you?!). Life and everything around me has changed such a big deal, that it sometimes feels like some parallel universe... And here I go again with my "10 Things that have changed...." 1. I have new-found respect for cows... Need I say more. 2. "S...