10 things they taught you in Biology class that you thought were true.
1. The human body requires 6 to 8 hours of sleep.
* Hah! 4 hours and you are good to go (The doctors are not going to be changing nappies or feeding the beby).
2. Darwin's theory of evolution says "Survival of the fittest".
* Fit or not, you will need to survive sleeplessness.
3. 45 minutes of exercise 5 days a week will keep you fit as a fiddle.
* Changing nappies = tummy crunches
Trying to make baby sleep = 2 km walk + torso exercise + weights
Entertaining baby = 30 minute dancing lesson
Feeding baby = core muscle strengthening
That's about 1200 minutes of exercise 7 days a week- the shape is still round!
4. Babies sleep for about 20 hours a day.
* Where is the sub-clause telling you that those hours are split into packets of 20 minute naps and that it takes 30 minutes to get the baby into a 20 minute nap.
5. The human body is tuned to working during the day and resting during the night.
* It's utter nonsense that we are born like that. Playtime is at 2 AM.
6. New mothers learn by instinct.
* New mothers learn from the grandmother's instinct.
7. Caffeinated drinks can make the baby restless.
* Caffeine or No Caffeine, playtime is still 2 AM.
8. Dreams are an extension of your psyche and sub-conscious likes, dislikes and needs.
* She laughs while she sleeps. Her dreams of milk, crying and nappies must be rather funny!
9. Humans inherit half their genes from the mother and half from the father.
* Humans inherit good traits from the mother and the not-so-good traits from the ...ahem....
10. Humans are the only species to have invented complex forms of entertainment.
* There was never a need. Make a goofy face or a stupid noise- it's enough to reap giggles.
Every rule has an exception. Just never realised that all those exceptions suddenly crop up in early motherhood.
1. The human body requires 6 to 8 hours of sleep.
* Hah! 4 hours and you are good to go (The doctors are not going to be changing nappies or feeding the beby).
2. Darwin's theory of evolution says "Survival of the fittest".
* Fit or not, you will need to survive sleeplessness.
3. 45 minutes of exercise 5 days a week will keep you fit as a fiddle.
* Changing nappies = tummy crunches
Trying to make baby sleep = 2 km walk + torso exercise + weights
Entertaining baby = 30 minute dancing lesson
Feeding baby = core muscle strengthening
That's about 1200 minutes of exercise 7 days a week- the shape is still round!
4. Babies sleep for about 20 hours a day.
* Where is the sub-clause telling you that those hours are split into packets of 20 minute naps and that it takes 30 minutes to get the baby into a 20 minute nap.
5. The human body is tuned to working during the day and resting during the night.
* It's utter nonsense that we are born like that. Playtime is at 2 AM.
6. New mothers learn by instinct.
* New mothers learn from the grandmother's instinct.
7. Caffeinated drinks can make the baby restless.
* Caffeine or No Caffeine, playtime is still 2 AM.
8. Dreams are an extension of your psyche and sub-conscious likes, dislikes and needs.
* She laughs while she sleeps. Her dreams of milk, crying and nappies must be rather funny!
9. Humans inherit half their genes from the mother and half from the father.
* Humans inherit good traits from the mother and the not-so-good traits from the ...ahem....
10. Humans are the only species to have invented complex forms of entertainment.
* There was never a need. Make a goofy face or a stupid noise- it's enough to reap giggles.
Every rule has an exception. Just never realised that all those exceptions suddenly crop up in early motherhood.
Lol... this has to be funniest post till now.. tho novice gives this good competition...
ReplyDelete