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Of Myths and facts

10 things they taught you in Biology class that you thought were true.

1. The human body requires 6 to 8 hours of sleep.
* Hah! 4 hours and you are good to go (The doctors are not going to be changing nappies or feeding the beby).

2. Darwin's theory of evolution says "Survival of the fittest".
* Fit or not, you will need to survive sleeplessness.

3. 45 minutes of exercise 5 days a week will keep you fit as a fiddle.
* Changing nappies = tummy crunches
   Trying to make baby sleep = 2 km walk + torso exercise + weights
   Entertaining baby = 30 minute dancing lesson
   Feeding baby = core muscle strengthening
That's about 1200 minutes of exercise 7 days a week- the shape is still round!

4. Babies sleep for about 20 hours a day.
* Where is the sub-clause telling you that those hours are split into packets of 20 minute naps and that it takes 30 minutes to get the baby into a 20 minute nap.

5. The human body is tuned to working during the day and resting during the night.
* It's utter nonsense that we are born like that. Playtime is at 2 AM.

6. New mothers learn by instinct.
* New mothers learn from the grandmother's instinct.

7. Caffeinated drinks can make the baby restless.
*  Caffeine or No Caffeine, playtime is still 2 AM.

8. Dreams are an extension of your psyche and sub-conscious likes, dislikes and needs.
* She laughs while she sleeps. Her dreams of milk, crying and nappies must be rather funny!

9. Humans inherit half their genes from the mother and half from the father.
* Humans inherit good traits from the mother and the not-so-good traits from the ...ahem....

10. Humans are the  only species to have invented complex  forms of entertainment.
* There was never a need. Make a goofy face or a stupid noise- it's enough to reap giggles.

Every rule has an exception. Just never realised that all those exceptions suddenly crop up in early motherhood. 

Comments

  1. BPJanuary 10, 2012 at 8:11 PM

    Lol... this has to be funniest post till now.. tho novice gives this good competition...

    ReplyDelete

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