Skip to main content

Of Myths and facts

10 things they taught you in Biology class that you thought were true.

1. The human body requires 6 to 8 hours of sleep.
* Hah! 4 hours and you are good to go (The doctors are not going to be changing nappies or feeding the beby).

2. Darwin's theory of evolution says "Survival of the fittest".
* Fit or not, you will need to survive sleeplessness.

3. 45 minutes of exercise 5 days a week will keep you fit as a fiddle.
* Changing nappies = tummy crunches
   Trying to make baby sleep = 2 km walk + torso exercise + weights
   Entertaining baby = 30 minute dancing lesson
   Feeding baby = core muscle strengthening
That's about 1200 minutes of exercise 7 days a week- the shape is still round!

4. Babies sleep for about 20 hours a day.
* Where is the sub-clause telling you that those hours are split into packets of 20 minute naps and that it takes 30 minutes to get the baby into a 20 minute nap.

5. The human body is tuned to working during the day and resting during the night.
* It's utter nonsense that we are born like that. Playtime is at 2 AM.

6. New mothers learn by instinct.
* New mothers learn from the grandmother's instinct.

7. Caffeinated drinks can make the baby restless.
*  Caffeine or No Caffeine, playtime is still 2 AM.

8. Dreams are an extension of your psyche and sub-conscious likes, dislikes and needs.
* She laughs while she sleeps. Her dreams of milk, crying and nappies must be rather funny!

9. Humans inherit half their genes from the mother and half from the father.
* Humans inherit good traits from the mother and the not-so-good traits from the ...ahem....

10. Humans are the  only species to have invented complex  forms of entertainment.
* There was never a need. Make a goofy face or a stupid noise- it's enough to reap giggles.

Every rule has an exception. Just never realised that all those exceptions suddenly crop up in early motherhood. 

Comments

  1. BPJanuary 10, 2012 at 8:11 PM

    Lol... this has to be funniest post till now.. tho novice gives this good competition...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MY ALONE

A few days ago, my daughter walked off to a birthday party saying "I will go my alone." MY ALONE was her new English phrase for the week meaning 'all by myself'. Not just 'myself', "ALL BY MYSELF"! And as I watched her walk down the hallway to the neighbour's house, I felt a funny feeling in the pit of my tummy. Of all the funny-feelings-in-tummy motherhood brings you, this one was new. WAS MY BABY GROWING UP? You see, mothers are usually programmed to be blind to any of these so-called hints of growing up. So obviously it surprised me that I was thinking this at all! Growing up in Mommy language usually refers to other things like: 1. Baby Being toilet trained after months of cleaning up and mopping up and coercing and making sssss sounds while the bored baby sits on the Potty. 2. Baby Being able to chew food -accompanied by a lot of "CHEW CHEW CHEW" and nudging the food stuck in the cheek. 3. Baby Giving up the feeding bott...
Post a Comment
Read more

Aham Brahmasmi

The Atman cries out to the Brahman “Who am I?” Not hearing a response, he cries out again “Why am I here?” Baffled by the silence of the Brahman, the Atman proclaims “I am the supreme manifestation of reality.” To which he hears no argument but what stirs within him is an unexplained restlessness. He is angered by his mute spectator. “Your silence only tells a story of ignorance”, he reluctantly exclaims, half in anger, half in despair. “I will figure this out on my own”, he says determinedly and sets out.  He travels far and wide. He consults with magicians. He consults with ascetics. He asks the winds and the rain. He asks the swift sand about her maker. “Who made you?” she retorts sarcastically. Stamping her into the earth with a hurt ego, he sets out further. He speaks to the mountains, he speaks to the snow. “Shouldn’t you aim to climb up once in a while?” he asks the snow over Mount Kailash. “Your descent is your end- as you melt and trickle down the plains only to end...
Post a Comment
Read more

Look who's learning

The whole world of new mothers seem to be logged on to at least 4 of the zillion parenting websites and have bought at least 2 of the many parenting/baby milestone books. Not to say I ridicule any of them- I have done so myself. All of them proclaim "let your baby explore" - and they have me mighty confused for mine insists on exploring the dirtiest or the most dangerous of things/places... bathroom floors, the underside of a tap, the dustbin, the stove, plug points... and the same books proclaim "these things are normal". While I cannot confine her exploring and discovering to anything hygienic and safe, I can at least get her immune to chaat germs and loud music. Destination 1: the beach It was too dark to get her into the water but the bright red blinking horns and flying discus were good enough. Next time aound- molaga bajji and butta. Destination 2: Art Gallery (Art appreciation is closely linked to EQ)  uhmmm...she fell asleep! Destination 3: A2B on...
Post a Comment
Read more