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The mathematics of babydom!

We Indians are always boasting about all the number things that we invented: the Zero for example has been our primary source of  pride at multinational gatherings. But why did no one ever document Baby mathematics or for that matter baby physics, it's a huge chapter!

1.Baby's energy is always inversely proportional to mother's energy.
2. g> 9.8m/s (why do you think newborns can't move?!)
3. At 6 months, you wish g>>9.8m/s but it reduces to what seems like 4 m/s (she was right here.Where did she go?!)
4. Have you learnt "A stationary object will remain stationary until acted upon by an external force"- Sorry.  " A stationary object will be smothered in drool and will go kaput until acted upon by an adult".
5. The shortest distance between 2 points is a line segment joining them? Only if there are 3 of her favourite toys, the TV remote and an expensive cell phone lying at varying distances between these 2 points.
6. infinity to the power of infinity=playtime energy at 3 AM= infinity.
7. In a right angled triangle, the hypotenuse will get chewed off/torn off making the other 2 sides longer.
8. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It only converts from one form to another. -OK, I'm quite convinced that a baby has the exceptional talent of converting the energy of 10 adults into hers!
9. Time is an indefinite progress of events in the past, present and future - Naansense.... Time ceases to exist for all mothers.
10. The nutritive value of food is directly proportional to the sum of the amount left behind on your clothes, baby's clothes, floor, furniture, pets....^n.

....it's a huge chapter but a baby post power nap = missing keys on the laptop. Ciao!




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