Skip to main content

Guilty!

Election fever ain't over yet 'cos all you hear on the news is allegations of corruption, communal tension, money laundering, bla bla...So much for "Hear no Evil. Speak No evil. See No Evil." in which ever order you like. Since the only TV I get to watch now is the news other than Chotta Bheem, I realised I should be showing my child more positive things. I'd rather not introduce these horrible ideas of theft, corruption etc to the young mind. Right??
Wrong. To my utter dismay, I realised I already had!
Yep. You have to believe me. All parents are guilty.  OK let's take it one by one.

1. Well, Dear mothers, when was the last time you said, "Drink your milk, I'll take you to the park." OR "If you have a quick shower, I'll give you a star." OR when you are at your highest point of desperation "Please let me work for 10 minutes, I'll buy you KinderJOy."

When was the last time the traffic cop asked for 200 bucks instead of paying a 500 rupee fine at court? Remember when you went to collect your degree certificate and the grouchy woman made you come back 10 times before you realised what she wanted?BRIBERY: check.

2. Mommies...remember this?

Baby: I want to go play.
Mommy: Finish your apple. Then we can go.
Baby: Done. Can we go?
Mommy: Put your blocks away. Only then can we go.
Baby: Ok Fine (still hopeful). Done. Can we go?
Mommy: You have to change your shirt and shorts.
Baby: (Irritation setting in) Done. Can we go?
Mommy: Where's my bag. Please wear your socks. Comb your hair. Look, I'm tripping over your cycle. Please put it in your room. Take your ball. No, not this one- this is your 'playing-INSIDE house-ball'; where's the 'playing-OUTSIDE-ball.'
Baby: (Grudgingly finishes everything you ask for: Playtime is worth it!)

How many of your friends have wanted to pull their hair out trying to start up a business? How many have been taking 3 days every week to go register an association?RED TAPISM: check.

3. And this?
Stop screaming. If you don't keep quiet now, NO Chota Bheem from tomorrow. BLACKMAIL: check

4. Heard of companies putting money from here to there and it disappearing?

I have noticed that in the last few days, my stash of candies has gone down drastically. And then last evening I say Daddy J and Baby playing "Bouncing candy"- OK, more clearly: Candies apparently bounce when they come out of the packet. So they bounce into Daddy J's pocket, then bounce briefly into my bag, baby's bag and then into Baby's mouth! Swaahaaaa!!!!
Embezzlement? :))

Let's just hope it goes no further!
For now, Modi aa? Daddy aa? baby aa?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Of travel rants and toddlers!

Someone once asked me if I liked travelling... And after a lot of deliberation I said.."Well, I like being at all kinds of different places but if I have to take a 36 hour train or a sweaty 8 hour bus drive, I'm not sure I'd like that bit." I'm sure the person thought he was having the most inane conversation with the most spoilt brat around! Being a dancer predisposes you to all kinds of travel- luxurious ones, budget ones, in-between-luxury and budget-ones. You also get to live like that- budget hotels, luxury hotels, 1 star to 5 star (OK very rarely 5 star unless I book myself into one!). I once lived in a 'guest house' in Raipur where there was no running water in the bathroom, food was served in sticky plates and the table was cleaned with a cloth that could send a rat running to the ENT. A week back, re-visiting the holy temples of Shiva in the Tanjore belt, I realised how things had changed, yet some things don't ever change do they! The la

Full-time madness

Two days back I was at a conclave of dancers, and some one asked me- "So you're full-time dancing aa?" And I wasn't sure what to say to that. And my reply like it is almost all the time was "Uhm...well....you know.. I dance yes...but I have a one and half year old daughter so...and I also do some medical writing...so you know" And my audience is always bewildered. "So transcriptions aa?" [And as bad as it sounds I take offense to being associated with that line of 'writing' so] my quick retort is always "NOO...I write for research- you know journal papers [ 'regulatory documents' will be quite lost on most people who ask me these questions]... In any case, I've been thinking a bit about what qualifies as full time, part time, hardly any time, time etc etc.. So, I don't have an office to go to in the morning. No 9 to 5 job or 9 to 8 job like most 'working women'. So I'm apparently not qualified to say

Get-set-Go

When I was a toddler, her word was the ultimate truth. Dad didn’t know Math, Bro didn’t know sport, Uncle didn’t know medicine, Aunt didn’t know music, Granny didn’t know Tamil... She was all-knowing and her affirmation alone stood my test of truth. Until she started using the word “NO” and a few other similar phrases and words. She said I couldn’t stay back late after school, I thought she didn’t trust me enough. She wanted to know more about my friends, I called her nosy. She asked me to be up at 6 am for Badminton practice, I thought she was evil and torturous. She asked why I  didn’t finish first in class, I told her she was pressurising me. She asked me to practice my steps a little longer, I vetoed. She forbade select company and I vented at her controlling nature. She asked to pity the rude, I called her naive. She advised to ignore cynics, I told her off. She was always home when I got back from school, I was sad that she didn’t have a cool career. She checked on us in betwe